Inter spem curamque, timores inter et iras
omnen crede diem tibi diluxisse supremem:
grata superveniet quae non sperabitur hora.Amid the hope and worry, the fear and anger
believe that each day which breaks is your last:
the unhoped for hour will be a welcome surprise.Horace, from the epistles
I finally got mailman working again and postix installed and everyone (even me) is happy. After the nastygram from ORBS Sunday morning I spent an hour locking down the server. I also upgraded the software on the router and spent some time thinking about attempting to switch DSL services. The thought of trying to set this up again gives me little chills.
But.
Hello, I am back, sort of.
See, last week, the people who are selling me their house found another house that they wanted. And so what I thought I had three or four months to do (get my credit record together, etc) I turned out to have approximately three days to do. And I caught a cold. And both Misha and Loba were in town. And Chris was having a bad week. And work decided to act up. And. And. It was endless, it seemed, one thing after another, one more thing I needed to do while I was walking around in a haze.
But it's better, now. I have all of my paperwork in hand, except for one piece that I'm still working on. But it's all right. We'll work this out. And I spent some time yesterday cutting out little pieces of paper that represent my furniture and arranging them on the floorplan for the house. I've drunk more tea in the last week than I have in my entire *life*.
Okay, stop, back up, let's get this coherent.
Monday: Monday was just kind of, eh...frustrating. We didn't get around to gaming till late.
Tuesday: put in a bid on the house I want to buy. Weirdly emotional scene.
Wednesday: I wake up with, you guessed it, a full-blown cold. Chris meets me at work and we go pick up Loba. I'm running late, we don't make it in time to catch Loba's flight, but we do manage to find her at the shuttle stop. *relief* I'm starting to take an abrupt turn for the worse--my head is clogged, my sinuses hurt, and my nose won't stop running. We go to lower Queen Anne to Jalisco's; there is no parking that's non-permit during the day. I finally manage to find someplace to leave the car and we head in. By this time, I am moving through the world in a glassy haze; nothing seems to matter very much, though I'm still attempting to interact with the world.
Lunch was Mexican chicken rice soup that I'm told was fabulous. I couldn't taste it. It was the first thing I'd eaten all day. I don't think I was very good company.
We stop at Bartell's for drugs for me on the way home.
I get home, take drugs, and attempt to sleep. But people keep calling. The mortgage guy, the insurance agent, one of the people I'm buying the house from, people from work. I'm miserable. I'm trying to think through this haze and failing.
The calls finally stop at 7 pm. I pass out at about 10.
I got better with every progressive day and now the skin under my nose that was chapped and raw from nose-blowing is healing. My sinuses are emptying. I feel just fine, thank you.
Okay, fine except for stress.We close on Nameless House on the 5th, given that everything falls into place. that's the 5th of May, folks.
Less than 10 days from now.
I still haven't gotten final approval on my loan. *breathes* Any day now.
there are so many things i'm worrying about, so many things i'm juggling, trying to make sure that i get this house (though it's almost a done deal at this point; money needs to change hands and the escrow agent is slowslowslowslow) and make sure at the same time that nobody is getting neglected.
I'll admit to freaking out just a little bit every time i think about it. Mostly i freak out about the fact that though it's a solid deal at the moment I don't *actually* have a mortgage yet. That and it's nearly impossible to get a call back from the escrow people (and they have stuff i need, damnit!) and thinking about moving and how on earth i'm going to replace the kitchen counter and wanting to go look at paint chips and wondering how one buys and installs a runner for staircases. All of which are excellent things to worry about. My inner worrier is nuts with delight; she's got all these things to think about and chew on. I, on the other hand, feel approximately like i've been gnawing on 2x4s.
All things considered, i'm doing all right. i'm going out to the woods this weekend, and while i worry about being inacessible, it'll be okay. It will.
I'm going to be burning the wish candle Ragged Robin made for me tonight, though. Even though this feels right, this feels like it's going to happen, wishing really hard in addition to all the work i'm doing can't hurt.
"A house fell in my lap. Amazing.""Sounds painful. Can I have your shoes?"
I am assured that this stress is normal. not that this is much help, but at least everyone nods and smiles when i tell them that i'm stressed because i'm buying a house.Things that have helped:
- Misha! I swear she's been sent by whoever as a favor to my poor little brain. She's good company and she's been doing both the dishes and the laundry. She feeds me tea and she makes killer French toast.
- Loba was also wonderful, even if I did give her my cold. Sorry, love.
- My mortgage broker is wonderful. I love him to death.
- so are the friends i'm buying the place from.
- PEEPS.
See? Blessings.
