Sitting in my room, I am very young and I am watching the morning light come in the window. It must be early in the morning; the light is slanted like the sun is just rising. It's a warm golden color, and there are dust motes in the light. I watch them, fascinated at the dancing bits. I am sitting on the floor of my room, occasionally reaching up to wiggle my fingers in the light. I am as small as the motes, I am flying among them, i am sliding between them.I am alone. I am entirely content. I am not even keeping an ear out for the approach of my parents, so i must be convinced that they are not coming in.
I am watching the motes, aware of nothing but the sunlight and these tiny things that seem so alien. I have no words for what they are.
This is my first memory in which I am not in fear or pain.
Early mornings and early nights aren't really my style, but nobody wants to hang out with me before work (and they do want to hang out with me after work) so i'm now getting up early and working out mornings instead of doing it after work.So i wake at 4:30 am and spend 15 minutes convincing myself to get out of bed. when i finally manage to get up, the light is just starting to turn golden as the sun rises and the cats stretch and accompany me to the bathroom. i check my list, not trusting myself to do everything that needs to be done before I leave for the gym. I sit at the table and drink water, listening to the birds go dawn-mad, chirping their idiot hearts out with the arrival of the sun.
Dressed and fed, i walk out the door after checking to make sure i have everything i need. I often encounter canada geese and their goslings as i walk past NOAA and the drydock with the ferry in it. They cross Eastlake at dawn towards the water. The goslings run towards me, evidently finding me interesting, and their parents hiss at me. I tell them I've no interest in gosling stew. I stop at a park bench to stretch out some in the early-morning light, looking down at the dark water of the lake.
These are my mornings, my silent beginnings. It's not a bad way to start off the day, really.
A girl has a crush on me!*flutter*
ohmy.
but my priest says
You ain't savin no souls
My father says
You ain't makin any money
My Doctor says
You just took it to the limit
And here I stand
With this sword in my hand...take to the sky by Tori amos
outside: finally cooled off
doing: setting up DSL
to do: get a hub
words: Cryptonomicon
link: new hair for me?
energy level (out of ten): 7
