My house is a very little house. Okay, it's not a very little house, it's a biggish apartment, but when you've got eighteen people in it, it becomes smallish very, very quickly.
Fortunately, we're all friendly. We were stacked up two or three in the living room at one point and everyone seemed to be pretty happy.
Yes, I tossed a party for Chris' birthday on Saturday. I invited people who I figured knew both Chris and I; turned out there were more of them than I figured there were, and moreover, all of them except one showed up.
So we ate and chatted, and I cooked a whole heck of a lot of food. It was Thanksgiving lite, with turkey and mashed potatoes and various veggies and an amazing cake from a little bakery near where I work. There were topless women running around, a small child who was extraordinarily well-behaved, and my roomie and her boyfriend were treated to my friends in all their infinitely argumentative, salacious, fascinating glory. I really wish I'd been able to find my camera so I could get pictures of everyone, but I'll always remember it. I need to do this on a regular basis, I think.
It came off well, I think. It was a good crowd, even if it was a few too many people for the apartment and dinner ran quite a bit late. nobody seemed to mind all that much. And there are lots of leftovers, and Chris was happy about it, and life's pretty good. We're still cleaning up, but Loba's helping a lot with that (thank goodness for amazing girlfriends!) and it wasn't all that bad to begin with. just a lot of dishes.
the morning after, though, bad stuff happened. We went to the aquarium and all three of us were out of sorts. Everything was grating on me so I kind of tuned everything out, which means the blowup, when it happened, took me entirely by surprise. The more people in the relationship, the more ways it can blow up, and I didn't help at all by being completely oblivious.
So we parted ways for a while, meeting up at home for reconciliation. Then we each spent the evening in our own ways, in our own spaces. And I think things are back to normalish, though we all still have some processing to do.
It's not called a speed bump for nothing. Makes us sit down and look around and make sure that what we're doing is what we want to be doing.
Any it's very strange to be the most adult one in a relationship. I shush the child who wants to crawl into laps for reassurance, the moody teenager who thinks conflict means that nobody likes her any more, the myriad voices who'd like me to run.
And I stay. I lend my strength. I do the best job I'm capable of, and I hold myself and the situation together by force of will. I breathe patience in, I try to make sure that I get enough alone time to recharge. I remember that I adore these people even when I'm irritated with them. I remember that this is my chance to repay the universe for all the kindness I was shown when I was living in my own pit. And I remember that I'm not in this alone.
It's not easy, but I really rather doubt that anything is. I knew what I was signing up for, after all.
If anyone wants to come over to my house, I have lots of various kinds of alcohol left.The remaining pear cider is mine, though.
But have I mentioned yet that I am, overall, very happy? speedbumps are just that, little bumps. I've still got growing up to do, we've all got things to work out, but generally, it works.And, heck. more love is always good. We'll see how things work out.
I have circulating in my head ideas for a couple of entries that will break the template that I'm currently using. Don't be surprised if I come up with things that look nothing like this in a couple of days. I want to talk about sex, and I want to talk about music, and the things that are going through my mind won't fit in this template. They require backgrounds and graphics.I'm not sure if I can call them entries, really. They're more like external projects that are connected to this journal.
maybe tomorrow I'll take some paper and a pen and figure out what I want to do with these ideas.
Best reason to look at banner ads:
Because you can see kinky cord sex.
how goes the war?
captured a supply train of chow mein!
