stone against skin
August 23rd: a plastic goldfish
Now I want to sit with my legs wide open
—Paula Cole, Tiger
and laugh so loud
the whole damn restaurant will turn and look at me
"Look at the tiger coming out of her mouth!"
Dream:
Then I was on a train, small and clutching a teddy bear. I was too young to be doing this by myself, but i couldn't figure out how to tell the conductor that I was so young. I wanted the train to turn around, but it wouldn't. I stared out the window. The train tracks were laid on a lake and all i could see was water.
I was flying on a broomstick that looked like a baseball bat, and trying to explain something to Rich and failing. I realized that I wasn't speaking the right language, but I couldn't remember a word of English.
Reality:
Hey, all. I'm at work on a sunday because I want to be--I had some stuff to do, but then decided to hang out and do some design work I'd been meaning to do but just not getting around to. Yes, I finally have a start on the Warren Ellis site, which is now on hold till Warren gets back to me. (I don't know when he will--I think he's going to be out of town for a while, and may not get a chance to look at what i've sent him.)I also made some graphics for Chris, which are also officially under wraps until he launches his own page. neener.
*****
I learned how to make lasagna yesterday from Mike, who is a man who is very serious about his lasagna. I didn't get to eat any, since I ran off to Burien in the afternoon, but now i know how to make a really good lasagna. One of these days, I'll have to actually make one. Maybe the next time I do Thursday Night Movies I'll make lasagna.
*****
A possible beginning for a memoir of a vacation:
Lanie (not her real name) used to be a tweaker. Now she hates them. These two facts crystallize around her like nothing else would, and so we're hanging out with her at a campground somewhere in the backcountry near Clarinda, Iowa.
Clarinda is a shithole. There's no nice way to describe this town, which is the American ideal of the small town gone terribly wrong. The sign on the way into town reads, "Clarinda--where the american work ethic really works!" but the reality is that it's an economically depressed area, never having really recovered from the recession of the early 90's and riddled with the kinds of malaise that you normally only read about in anxious articles in Time and US News. The entire town seems to suffer from a sort of deadly boredom, a sense that there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. The town is not only at the bottom, but it's convinced itself that the bottom is all there is.
I've come to Clarinda with Melanie to hang out with Lanie and her friends--a group of stoners with slight Southern accents gained from living close to the Missouri border, who have discovered that the only way to cope with the terminal not-ness of this town is to do a lot of drugs and try to plan an escape.
We're lying in the grass, staring at the stars that seem impossibly bright, me pointing out constellations and the satellite that is moving across the sky. I imagine the metal of the hull of some communications satellite far overhead, reflecting the sun's light as it crosses the dark iowan sky. It's a hell of a long way from Clarinda; then again, everywhere is a long way away from Clarinda.
In the damp grass in Clarinda, I remember how far I've come since high school, and I thank anyone who's listening that I didn't grow up in a place like this. I never doubt for a minute that the drugs are necessary.
A few mornings later, Melanie and I are in her car, heading to Seattle. Armed with caffeine, weed, and an incredible hunger for each other, we're embarking on a trip that will be perhaps one of the defining moments of my life.
*****
okay, kids, that's all for today. I'm going to go get some Thai food.
the moment:
stone against skin
your assignment:
CD: Paula Cole, This Fire
Book: le ton bon de Marot, Douglas Hofstadter (almost done!), The Great Shark Hunt, Hunter S. Thompson
Outside: the sun hasn't made it out yet today....
Doing: my tit hurts. ow.
Link: Insects and Angels
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have some ice cream. Ice cream is good.