[from the Julie is funny file:]

Feb 6, 2001 2:38 PM from Xxxxxxxxxx
Cover letter:

Dear company:

Have you ever had that not-so-fully-staffed feeling? Have I got news for you! I, [insert name here] am available for immediate interviews.

Because suit-guys and HR reps love bullets, here's what I can offer your company:

* I slice.
* I dice.
* I only use two potty breaks per day.
* I can restrain myself to a quiet snicker when the biz plan is unveiled.
* I can mindlessly provide dynamic synergies on demand.

Act now, and I'll also throw in my wit and charm as a special signing bonus for you, dear company. Please e-mail me at [insert here] to arrange an immediate consultation. Alternatively, you can label yourself as a dinosaur on the way down by calling at at [insert phone number here] to chat further about your critical staffing issues.

Most cordially,

[your name here]
[Cube Farm NOT HAND JOBS> msg #4492

I have been avoiding my non-personal email for a week, now. As a result, I had about 1300 emails from various lists in my procmail folders. It started by me being offline for a while the weekend before last, and then there was so much list mail that I simply dreaded the chore of reading through all of it.

So tonight, I came up with a simple solution. Open anything that looks remotely interesting, and just delete the rest without reading them. It feels so decadent to be just deleting everything I don't want to read.

It's the little pleasures, I swear.

K sent me flowers last week.

Except not in the usual form that flowers come in--you know, put them in water and have them around for a few days, and then watch them die. I got a small pot with little sprouts sticking out of peat moss, and a note saying they should bloom in time for Valentine's day...but without saying what the flowers *were*.

So I watered the bulbs and went home for the weekend. When I returned on Monday, the tallest sprout was two inches taller than it had been when I left, and had the beginning of a purple bud on the end. As the sun hit my window that afternon, I could *swear* I saw the flowers growing--almost visibly getting taller and unfolding into beautiful purple irises. (Now I know why she asked me what my favorite flowers are.)

A day later, the irises are blooming like the dickens, showing off for me. It's been a stressful couple of days at work, and the flowers have been silent companions, reminding me that things can't be all that bad if spring is approaching and there are wonderful people in my life.

It's a good life.

Someone ported the Legend of Zelda to the PC. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.

I have gotten to the point where I am actually starting to *plan* changes to the house--plotting out the garden for next year, looking at color schemes for the bathroom, trying to find a counter surface that I'm happy with [I desperately want granite in the kitchen, but I'm not sure it'll go], and budgeting for everything. The first project is the server closet, followed shortly thereafter by the garden.

And then, in (hopefully) somewhat short order, the kitchen counter. I can only hope.

Okay, mud mask is on, teeth are bushed, kitchen is clean, laundry is done, and cats are happy. It's time for bed.

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