Kallisti is orbiting my head.

I am not done dreaming, so I murmur at him and roll over. He continues orbiting and meowing, pausing every thirty seconds or so to attempt to shove his head up one of my nostrils. And continues orbiting.

I give in, climb out of bed, go downstairs, and feed the cats. I crawl back into bed, snuggle myself back to sleep,and continue my dream.

I wake up a couple of hours later. Lilith has crawled under the blanket and is curled up by my stomach. Juniper weighs down the blanket behind my knees. And Kallisti is perched on my hip, burbling happily at me when he realizes that I've woken up.

It was a good morning.

I am through the worst of the work stuff, and now I am recovering. I saw Chris today for the first time in a week, but otherwise I'm limiting my exposure to people, and just holding myself safe for a little while. I get oversensitive after I've been driving myself so hard. I get tired, and cranky, and just plain need a break.

Fortunately, next week shouldn't be nearly as bad (except maybe Monday), and life as I know it will go back to normal.

I hope.

I think I'm going to Victoria in February. A lot depends on what the gynecologist says on Tuesday.

I've started writing in a paper journal again in the morning. I write in my new sketchbook, with a silver pen. The sketchbook was given to me by work, which is the reason I've been able to write in it--I'm not really worrying about "messing it up". I've been making lists in it, and just writing about the really trivial how-I'm-feeling stuff.

It's been nice, to write longhand again. The sketchbook is too big for me to carry around with me, so i leave it on my table and write as I'm eating breakfast.

I've splurged on office supplies lately--I bought a velvet presentation folder to put poems for reading in, and I bought a beautiful suede-covered box the other night that I have no earthly idea what I'm going to put in it. I'd been having a rought week and I couldn't get the box out of my head, though, so I gave in and bought it. At first, I thought I could use it to store the sketchbookand my pens, but the sketchbook is too big, so I'm going to have to find something else to do with it.

It's one of those things that makes me happy just to hold. And that's really good enough.

I've also been in need of solace, and for solace I've been reading SARK books. I have an ever-so-slightly secret addiction to SARK--she is a woman with a big pen in a world where I occasionally need reminding that it's okay to scrawl on the walls if you need to and that's where your genius leads you.

I feel, sometimes, like my life has closed in on me.

It takes a silver pen and a black sketchbook to let me back out.

Scenes from today:

Lilith is a good girl and only scratches the scratching post. Unlike the other two.


I said, outside the grocery store, "Mmmm, the air's got that bite in it that's like it wants to snow." And I saw the first flakes in my rearview mirror. So I went home and after I woke up from my nap, I saw...SNOW!





The bluebells are optimistic, this year.



And sometimes, I am a wicked wicked girl.

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