She's not moving out here.
Not now, maybe not ever.
It's for a variety of reasons, maybe the biggest among them is that she's 19 and not yet quite ready to leave her safety net. I'm still going out there in June, and we're still roadtripping up to seattle...but eventually, she'll be going home.
It's about all i can do right now to keep from making plans to move to Minneapolis. I love Seattle, i've never been so crazy in love with a city, but Minneapolis is a reasonable drive from West Liberty, Iowa. And I have a built-in support system in Minneapolis. And.. and...
But Minneapolis has really nasty weather. I like the mild winters and nice summers here.
And I'd have to give up the fishtanks.
And I'd have to adjust all over again.
And it's really dumb to move halfway across the country to be closer to someone who you don't even have a defined relationship with.
I don't know. Maybe she'll change her mind again. Maybe I'll get offered a fabulous job with moving expenses paid.
This brings home the point to me that I'd started living for June and the hope that this time, i could get soemthing right. But, right now, it looks like it's not to be.
A year from now, I'll probably think it was a positive thing all around. But right now, I'm feeling isolated, as I'm realizing that there really isn't anything much holding me here, any more. I could do my work anywhere in the country, really, and there are lots of places where i have a better network of friends than I do here. I'm not angry at her...I'd just built up hope for her moving here, is all.
And elsewhere, I might even have hope for building an actual social life, whereas here, there's nothing. What little start I made got taken away by the breakup, and right now i'm so withdrawn that I rather doubt I could even make any headway if Shannon hadn't taken most of my local friends with him.
Oh, I admit it. I'm stupid-in-love.
But stupid-in-love enough to pick up myself and the animals and move to Minnesota?
I have no clue.